Today in Glenmoore - Live from Seattle Tacoma Airport

What can I say, I've been delinquent.  However, I would like to take a minute to report that my five hour delay in the airport is about exciting as life in Glenmoore.  Actually, it's pretty comparable since there are a lot of jackasses in this airport (couldn't resist the donkey reference).

Laurie Update
Grammi is doing extremely well.  She's rebounded from her last treatment, has received encouraging news about developments regarding control of her cancer (in essence they've started trials on a protein inhibitor which starves the cancer cells) and most importantly she is enjoying the week in Barrington RI with her grandchildren.  You could say she is happier than a...

Check out my Grand Ass

However, in reality she's more like a donkey yelling from the rooftops - "Check me out, I'm one happy donkey spending time with all my little grand donkeys".  I was going to refer to them as little grand-asses but I thought that might be a little over the top.  Actually, this topic of grand-assess is probably worthy of a blog of it's own.  I mean really, think about it - how many places could you go with a lead in of Grand Asses - it's limitless.  But I digress.

After a week long visit with the kiddies, we'll return to Glenmoore on Saturday - assuming I ever get out of this airport in Seattle.  I'm looking forward to getting home and playing golf.  On Monday will be my first round of golf since Labor Day of last year.  I hope I remember how to swing.

Then it's off to University of Maryland Medical Center bright and early Tuesday AM.  Pre-Op tests on Tuesday followed by surgery on Thursday.  We're planning a nice night out on Tuesday for some crab cakes.

The surgery itself is long - roughly 8-10 hours.  Laurie will be in LaLa land until Friday.  So sit tight and remember no news is good news.  I'll get back to everyone once Laurie is talking again (Sometime around June 30th if I'm really lucky - just kidding Laurie- luv ya).

Today's Quote

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”


Winston Churchill


Let's kick some ass next week (no donkey reference intended).

Today in Glenmoore - May Day

Well, what can I say - I've been delinquent in keeping everyone informed.  Mainly, I just haven't found a lot of humor in Glenmoore these days.  However, today is May 1st, the sun is shining, everything is budding out and our dogwood continues to light up our front yard with the best bloom yet.

Laurie Update
Laure had her last Chemo treatment on Tuesday and this one topped all others in kicking the crap out of her.  Luckily she is now 5 days out and should start turning the corner.  We'll continue to monitor her blood since this specific cocktail is wrecking havoc with her counts.  I expect she'll need another transfusion this week since her Red Cell count was low at the time of the treatment.

But each day gets better and puts another day between her the the toxic cocktails.  Also, Laurie waiting for the last week in May when she finally gets to meet Esme.  I'll drive Laurie up to Providence on May 21st so she can spend the week with the kiddies.  Everyone else is just chopped liver.

Paul Update
All I can say is "Chemo Sucks".  Watching someone you love go through chemo is daunting.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to make the person feel better.  I've found myself feeling helpless and wishing it was me fighting this - but it just doesn't work that way.  So I'm equally relieved to have this phase of Laurie's treatment behind us.

I did get away to Key West with Murph for a long weekend and some fishing.  Fishing wasn't so great, drinking, eating and sunning was perfect.  Thanks to JQ and Dee for covering for me so I could get away.

Next Stop: Baltimore
With Phase I behind us (I was going to say successfully but the reality is I'm not sure exactly what we accomplished - PET Scan on May 17th should shed some light) - we're preparing for Baltimore and Laurie's surgery on June 2.

This week we have a conference call with the surgeon.  If you'd like to meet the surgeon and learn a little more about Laurie's condition - click on the link below.

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print.  I'll try to get another blog out prior to the surgery.  Keep those prayers and positive thoughts coming.

Today's Quote
"It's not having what you want, but wanting what you got"
Sheryl Crow

Go soak up some sun while it's still free!

Today in Glenmoore 3-10-11

Well, greetings from Glenmoore.  The land of melting snow and flooding rivers.  It's been almost a month since our last post - that's because there just ain't that much happening in Glenmoore.

All the snow has finally melted, revealing huge piles of deer dung in our flower beds.  Laurie wanted me to clean it up - I argued for the organic fertilizing benefits of deer pellets.  It's only fitting that the dung fueled by our munched deer resistant plants should serve to revitalize the Spring bloom.

Donkey with Mysterious Voodoo Pins Removed

However, the donkey saga just doesn't seem to want to die.  There were rumors of strange African head shrinking cult activities under Brian's altar cabana next to his pool.  While at first thought thought to be the mindless babbling of jealous neighbors, someone brought this photograph to my attention.  The donkey pictured in the photo was found in a dryer vent and rumored to be stuck in various sensitive spots with voodoo pins. The shrunken donkey is actually about 1/25th of it's original size.  All residents of Glenmoore are advised to keep both their pets and small children close at hand until this investigation is completed.


Big Balls in Cow Town (this is actually the name of a very famous song)
Well, the big news of the past few weeks was the birth of our third granddaughter - Esme Laurie (nice move on the middle name huh!).  Laurie's daughter Anika gave birth to Esme 10 days early on March 2nd - so she now shares the same birthday with me and Dr. Seuss.  Mother and daughter doing well.  Papa Chris seeking paternity test data from Mr. Magoo.

Laurie
Three down three to go.  The first week kicks her fanny, she recovers some on the second week and the third week she goes out and gets her hair done.  Life is good and she is stylin.

With the help of friends, family and our home aid Laurie has gotten out to Library, Target, Wegman's and the hair dresser (you thought I was kidding).  Laurie's also getting a ton of things done around the house with assistance so everyone is quite happy (especially me).  This has allowed me to get to the office three days a week and preserve some sanity.

Paul
As if we didn't have enough on our plate, I had my shoulder done on Friday.  Doc said I'd be good to go fishing and play golf by mid-April.  Didn't mention it would feel like an amputation with a rusty dull knife for the first week.  And they just don't make pain meds like they used to!

I truly expected that three days stuck in the house with neither of us being able to drive would have resulted in an untimely death.  However, luckily I felt so bad that I just laid around and complained to the walls - Laurie never listens to me anyway.  Starting to feel better and now able to get my arm fully up over my head.  Once I'm able to raise a baseball bat over my head the investigation of the altar cabana will continue.

Today's Quote
Today's quote was submitted by the "Professor" in honor of my birthday on March 2.

"Be who you are and say what you  feel...

Because those that matter... don't mind...

And  those that mind... don't matter."

Dr. Seuss  

Today in Glenmoore 2-16-11

A Philosophical Question

Do fish cry?  Have you ever wondered about this?  Does this keep you awake at night?  The last few nights I keep waking up and asking myself - if a fish cries does it change the salinity of the water?  Do salt water fish cry fresh water tears, etc.  The questions go on forever.

But at the essence of my futile late night mental wanderings was the core question - do fish have emotions?  I even expanded this line of reasoning to jelly fish, star fish, sea urchins and sea horses - but I had to stop - I couldn't go there without self-imploding.

On a recent visit to the National Aquarium in Baltimore (I mean really - we are talking about "the National" one, no ordinary Camden variety), we were shocked to find the lead items in the cafeteria to be fish sandwiches and fish and chips.  This is the equivalent of serving Korean BBQ at the Westminster Dog Show.

Think about it, all these incredible species of fish, yanked out of their natural habitats, forced to live in tanks with artificial reefs watching overweight humans stumble around with remnants of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches dripping from their jowls.  I suspect that at night they play the Filet-O-Fish sound track at high volumes just to torture the captives (imagine the video below played all night at excruciating volume).  Dolphins screaming, "turn it off, turn it off, I promise to catch the ball tomorrow and jump through the rings".  Yes, fish do cry.

Laurie
Well, after months of perplexing doctor visits, conflicting information and a roller coaster of emotions we finally got some encouraging news.  First, we met with "Da Man" at the University of Maryland Medical Center. The first person we have spoken to who actually knows something about this disease.  15 years leading a research team on it at NIH and now continuing to research and treat at U of MD.  Dude was smart and likable.  Laurie even liked his natty attire.  I think she has a Doc crush going on.

Basically the message was - Laurie is a perfect candidate for the surgery given her young age (I'm not kidding) and should have a good quality of life after the surgery.  There are some ifs, buts and ands but generally the word was good.

Then today we got the results of the recent scan - no recent growth since December and the fluids are down. All this is great news and further confirms the surgery will be successful.

Only set back was a low white cell count today which will be corrected with meds next week so we're off a week in our treatment schedule.  Surgery will be scheduled once Laurie completes current regimen.

Paul and Laurie
We wound up celebrating Valentines Day a bit early with a great meal on Thursday in Baltimore.  Restaurant sent a stretch limo for us.  We both had fish without regret in preparation for our visit to the aquarium the next day.  Luckily we showered and removed the remnants from our jowls prior to entering the aquarium.  However, Laurie did have a bit of crab shell stuck between her teeth.  I think that is why the Archer fish spit at her.

Today's Quote
I just couldn't resist this one.

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”

Lynda Montgomery

Today in Glenmoore 2-10-11

Greetings from Glenmoore!  Unfortunately there isn't much happening of interest.  The snow is melting and occasionally one can catch a whiff of Spring in the area.  Either that or the snow is melting off the Donkey Pooh in the lower 40.

Laurie
There is absolutely nothing to say, she is motoring.  Walking around the house without her cane at times.  And fighting to contribute to the housework.  We found someone to come in and spend time with Laurie 3 days a week.  Actually the wife of a friend.  What's great is that we've changed the focus of this from keeping an eye on Laurie to helping Laurie start cooking, doing laundry, etc.

Paul
Still doing the same.  Starting to get out once or twice a week for some diversions which has been nice.

Hallmark Holidays
First, I want to thank all of you for your cards, words of encouragement and support of Hallmark holidays,  I mean really, do we need a holiday to tell our loved ones we love them?  Rubbish I say.

So for most of you, you'll notice that I didn't have time to go out and support this fine tradition.  But please, consider this my wish to you for the 14th - go out and kiss an ass.  I was thinking of writing "kiss your ass", but for those of you without a spouse of 10 or more years you might take it the wrong way.

Quote of the Week
Who could forget the classic quote from Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets.  In fact, if this didn't come from Jack, it might almost sound a bit too swarmy for TIG.

You make me want to be a better man.

-- Jack Nicholson

We should have a much better idea of where we stand after next weeks tests and consults.  So for now - adiós.

Today in Glenmoore 2-2-11

Lead Story
Groundhog did not see his shadow today - Spring is coming.  I should note that this is exactly the same thing Laurie said to me when I woke her up at 8:00 AM.  However, there were a few expletives in her phrasing that even a cute little groundhog wouldn't utter after being dragged out of bed into the freezing cold.

We were fortunate to escape the national blizzard that our friends up north experienced.  Nothing but a little ice that really wasn't much.

Laurie Update
All is well with Ms. Laurie.  She is recovering from the first few days of her treatment where she said she felt like Pooh - and she wasn't referring to Winnie.

On Sunday I threw Laurie into her transport chair and toured the neighborhood.  She thoroughly enjoyed her outing as evidenced in this picture.  She looks happier than a pig in sh*t.

And the life of a princess is special.  I've been slaving at Wegman's buying all the appropriate organic fruits and veggies, making fresh juice everyday, etc.  On Sunday I braised an organic chicken with organic vegetables - a meal fit for a princess.  After we came back from our stroll she said "I just want a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup".  Can you imagine that - I'm sweating the details on getting all the right stuff into her and she picks something that is the epitome of unhealthiness.  Oh well, she ate it and enjoyed it.

Paul Update
What can I say, at least I'm eating healthy.  I finally crossed my weight loss target of 22 pounds.  I'm now shooting for another 10 and heading out to buy some pants that don't make me look like a homie in the hood. And the Kettle supply is still good so Paul's spirits are great.

Quote of the Week
This weeks quote was sent in by Anne in West Chester...
"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable."

-          Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749 - 1832

Picture of the Week (new feature to TIG)
This also was sent in by one of our readers - Maryanne of Lafayette Hill

"But Mom, you told me to get my head out of my ..."

Cheers,
Ed E. Tor

Today in Glenmoore 1-27-11

Greetings from Glenmoore
Big news over the past few days is snow.  Here are a few shots for you folks in the south who don't remember what 15" of snow looks like.

Check out those drifts on the roof, they're almost three feet high.

By the way, no sign of the donkey's in the snow.  Must be some cold asses out in that pasture.  Luckily the farmer has a little donkey hut for them.

Laurie
What can I say other than "Two down and four to go".  Laurie is doing great, motoring around the house.  OT and PT in-home.  Best news was that the OT said folding laundry and doing the dishes is good therapy for her motor skills.

Hoping to cruise through this cycle.  New CT scans on Valentines day before treatment number 3.  I've requested red contrast dye in honor of the hallmark holiday.  Also we head to Baltimore to meet with the "Guru" in the coming weeks.  We're hoping to make a bit of a getaway out of the consult and  enjoy the inner harbor.

8 Little Words
Who would have thought that those eight little words we mocked in college would some day come back to haunt us.  I can remember sitting in our apartment at Penn State just mocking those ads with someone saying "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up".  Now they are closer to home.

Oh, you think I'm talking about Laurie - hell no.  I'm talking about me.  The other night Murph came over for one of our regular gin nights.  We sit, drink wine and usually I take his money playing knock gin rummy.  This week he won (it was a donkey kicking).  After a bottle of wine we decided to break out the Ron Zocapo 23 year old rum - and proceeded to drink half the bottle.

After Murph left I was stumbling around the house thinking, what the heck do I do if I fall and can't get up.  Laurie isn't going to be able to help me -  she has been asleep for hours anyway (I could hear that low rumble from the bedroom).   I immediately got online the next day and started researching Med Alert bracelets - for me.

Did you know that you can program who they call depending on the situation?  It's a shame that the PA State Liquor Stores don't deliver.  "Yes, I've fallen, could you send over another bottle of Kettle One so I don't remember it tomorrow, back door is open".

One Last Thing
OK, I just can't let this one pass.  As many of you know Anika is getting ready for her third child.  I suppose at a certain age you don't have "baby showers".  There is this new thing called a "Sprinkle Shower".  So Laurie and Kim are throwing one of these Sprinkle Showers for Anika.

I'm sorry, but every time I hear this I think Tinkle Shower (in honor of my mother who couldn't say "pee").  And from Tinkle Shower, where do you go next???  If you don't get there, you wouldn't get the joke anyway.  It may say something about my friends, but they all take this to the logical conclusion.

Today's Quote

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is”

Francis Bacon